By Inches
by Libek
Summary: Shy, shy early-series Orihime on her relationship with Ichigo, and taking things one step at a time. Ichigo/Orihime.


For almost a year, she hadn't even been able to bring herself to look at him. And in a way, she still couldn't. She had perfected a method of gazing just past his eyes, to stare at the intricate ridges of his left ear, and only by doing this did she avoid that telltale rush of blood to her cheeks. Only by doing this could she speak around the lump in her throat, even if only just enough to boldly talk about the weather.

Tatsuki-chan called her stupid; but she didn't really understand, Orihime knew. To her, Kurosaki-kun was just some boy she'd grown up with. She'd probably seen him scrape his knee and burst into tears or get ice cream all down his shirt. To her, Kurosaki-kun would probably always be that little boy. She didn't see the way he towered over them, she didn't feel the incredible strength and astonishing gentleness in those long tapered fingers when he touched her.

Not that -- not that Kurosaki-kun had ever touched her in _that_ way. He had never even come close. But when he patted her on the head, or gave her shoulder a brief squeeze in this helplessly friendly, horribly innocent way, Orihime could feel it right through her clothes, shivering softly over her skin, warming her flesh and her bones. She could feel his lightest touch in her teeth.

She should have said something then, but Orihime was, in some ways, a very realistic girl. Kurosaki-kun was her first love. They so rarely worked out, so rarely came to real fruition, and the intensity of this crush would surely fade with time. Speaking up, well, she might wind up regretting that. She liked being his friend, and she... she enjoyed the fluttery feeling in her belly when they were together, that almost-nauseous feeling.

Besides, the fantasy of it -- impossibly perfect dates in a darkened theater where she could cling to him during the scary parts, ice cream that got on her nose and made him laugh, a first kiss at dusk on a ferris wheel with fireworks behind them -- was safe. Comforting.

Orihime hadn't had much of either in the past few years. She had... wanted to hold onto that. For at least a little while longer.

So she made a silent, secret promise to herself. She would never breathe a word, not right now. She would wait until they were both older, wait until they had both been with other people, wait until she knew that he was more than her first love.

That should have been her warning. When it's only a crush, when the feeling will fade, tomorrow never enters into the picture. The only future is one where the two of you are married and happy and perfect. The very fact that she wanted to wait, that Kurosaki-kun was too important to her to risk ruining, should have told her that it was already more than just her first love.

Then Kuchiki Rukia appeared.

The other girls whispered. Tatsuki-chan warned her that she had to say something to Kurosaki-kun, and now. There were so many rumors; that the two of them went off alone all the time, that they were dating, that they had done "it", that he already had her father's permission to marry. And at first Orihime hadn't worried, because there were always rumors, and Tatsuki-chan always thought she was about to lose her chance with Kurosaki-kun, and how close could a new transfer student have really gotten to him anyway...

But Kuchiki-san was more than just a transfer student. And in many ways she was already closer to Kurosaki-kun than Orihime could ever be. They had so much in common. They got along so well. Kuchiki-san never had trouble talking in coherent or relevant sentences around him. She would never have hesitated to express her feelings.

They were so perfect for each other.

They would have been so good together.

She had no right to speak up now and try to sabotage that. She, who had thought her feelings for him would fade. She, who would never be a Shinigami. She, who would never be any stronger than she was right now...

For almost a year, she could hardly even bring herself to speak to him. For almost a year, she gave up. She wasn't very strong, but she could do this one thing -- and that was push unpleasant feelings down, deep deep inside, until they went away. It didn't work completely, of course. It had never worked completely. But it worked well enough to let her follow him to the Soul Society and help him save Kuchiki-san without a second thought. It worked well enough to let her make friends with a girl who should have been her enemy, until the thought of them kissing somewhere private no longer made her vision blur.

It worked so well, in fact, that when he asked her to wait after class at the end of the term, shuffling up awkwardly to say something about not being very good at any of this crap, she tried to tell him that he really ought to ask Tatsuki-chan if he wanted tutoring because math wasn't really her strong point either. And she was very surprised when he cut her off abruptly with his mouth.

Honestly, it wasn't a very good kiss. Kurosaki-kun's lips were stiff on hers, and he jerked back again quickly, bending down to peer at her face as if reassuring himself that she wasn't horrified and wouldn't scream or slap him.

"You really do like me, right?" he said, gruff and evidently suspicious. "Renji wasn't just screwing with me?"

For almost two years, she had been so paralyzed by his presence. Wordless, numb, incapable of so much as looking him in the eye. She did it now, and was surprised to find that his eyes were a very delicate, almost fragile shade of brown. Speaking was still a bit beyond her grasp, but she managed to reach out and take his hand in hers, folding those long fingers over her small fist. She squeezed, carefully, as if she were the one so strong she might accidentally hurt him, and nodded her head.

She would take him somewhere for ice cream, Orihime decided. As soon as she could breathe again enough to suggest it.

Hopefully, that won't take another year.


End file.
